problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
