I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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