well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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