ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
