she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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