So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
