Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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