I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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