Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
