I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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