U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
