can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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