Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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