i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
