Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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