And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
