Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
