in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We just shotgunned beers for America
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
