therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
