you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
