I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
