Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
