Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
