hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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