You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
