I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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