Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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