She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
