yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
