spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
