Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
