I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
