I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This is the high leading the old right now
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
