He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
