having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
