My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
