3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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