K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
