Got a toothbrush?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
