is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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