i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
