official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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