This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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