I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
