It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
