If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
50% drunk capacity currently
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
