Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
