I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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