they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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