Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just cropdusted the office
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I came so hard my ears popped.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
