but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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